How wonderful it is to be in the Easter season! During Lent we were in the desert with Jesus as Satan tried to tempt him, we were in the valley of the dry bones with Jeremiah, we went with Jesus to Lazarus’ tomb, we journeyed with Jesus through his betrayal, arrest, trial, and crucifixion. We were more than ready for Easter morning with the hope that the resurrection gave us, the assurance that God is love, and Love conquers all. Yes, Easter brings joy; however, it also brings doubt. Our Gospel reading emphasizes the doubt that was Thomas, sometimes called Thomas the Twin but usually referred to as doubting Thomas. There were several other examples of great doubt and disbelief during the days that followed: for example, let us recall Mary Magdalene and the other women going to the tomb and seeing the risen Jesus. Mary spoke to Jesus and ran to tell the disciples what she had seen. What was there initial reaction? In Luke we are told that they did not believe. Do you suppose the scene was a little like this: There goes Mary again, getting excited, seeing and believing impossible things. Women are so emotional! Peter, however, did decide to check it out for himself. When he saw only the linen cloths in the tomb, “he went home, amazed at what had happened.” Lk.24:12b.

Later that night the disciples were huddled together in their upper room when Jesus appeared to them. Luke says they were startled and terrified and thought that they were seeing a ghost. He describes them as joyful yet disbelieving. Now Thomas was not with the other disciples when Jesus presented himself. In the gospel of John we have the other disciples excitedly telling Thomas about Jesus’ appearance. Thomas’ reaction was one we often have when we’ve missed some big happening that seems incredible: “No way. That’s impossible. I have to see for myself.” Thomas was not one to go along with the crowd. He wanted to see for himself. So as you can see there were many doubts, despite the joy and excitement, around the Easter events.

You know, I really like Thomas. I’m attracted to the kind of person that is questioning, honest, the kind that doesn’t laugh just to be polite when the joke isn’t funny. There are many folks like Thomas in this congregation—people who have lots of questions about God, Jesus, the Bible, the resurrection, the virgin birth, the miracles. You’ve heard me questioning myself—why doesn’t God intervene to prevent innocent deaths in things like the tsunami or 9/11? Why is there so much evil in the world? And then there are many personal questions such as why did my friend die so quickly before I could say goodbye? Or why can’t I get a call to the ministry when I want so much to serve God? I’m sure many of you have these same kind of questions that are relevant in your own life and the life of those you love. Questions like: Why is my child so sick? Why doesn’t my husband get a job? Why does God allow some of us to have so many blessings and others seem to have so few? Oh, I could go on and on, but maybe you have a few I haven’t mentioned. Could you call them out?

We have doubts just as Thomas had doubts. We want to have proof and signs. We would like to prove that God really exists. Remember that line in Jesus Christ Superstar? “Jesus Christ, if you’re divine, turn my water into wine. Prove to me that you’re no fool, walk across my swimming pool.” We’d all like to be personal witnesses to miracles. We want assurance that God cares about our lives.

When I was reading for this sermon I read a couple of contrasting definitions of a doubter vs. an unbeliever as well as a skeptic and a believer. The first one was in a sermon by Rev. Markquart on the internet: he was referring back to a theologian by the name of Henry Drummond. “A doubter is a person who searches for God and the godly life; the person is on a journey, a quest, a search to find God and the love of God. Not an unbeliever. An unbeliever isn’t searching for God but for the pleasures of this world. An unbeliever is not searching for God or the god question or the love of God but for situations in life which will bring happiness. A doubter is a person who has a thousand questions for God; questions about life, love, God’s existence, purpose, the divinity of Christ and many other questions…An unbeliever isn’t asking questions about God, the divine dimension. The unbeliever is apathetic to God and the God question does not really come up in his or her daily life. A doubter struggles with God and struggles to live a godly life,…but not the unbeliever. …And so there is an enormous difference between an honest and questioning doubter and a secularized unbeliever who does not struggle with the God question and the divine dimensions of life.”

I personally believe that there are very few Christians that ever go throughout their life with out questions and doubts about their religion and their faith.

The second contrasting definition is one that is discussed in a book that I’ve mentioned before, So You Think You’re Not Religious? A Thinking Person’s Guide to the Church, by James Adams, an Episcopal priest. What he means by believer “is a person who accepts a body of opinion or a system of propositions without regard for empirical evidence.” He goes on to define a “true believer” as “one who holds to these opinions or propositions even in the face of contrary evidence, judging all those who hold opposing opinions to be in error.” In contrast he defines a skeptic as “one who instinctively doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions presented without verifiable evidence. Such a person is unable to accept most religious dogma (p.2). Adams thesis is that skeptics have a deep longing for the Divine, God, the Ultimate, or whatever name one might use and that there is a place in organized religion for them. Much of the book talks about how these skeptics can be part of the church without being dishonest to themselves.

In my opinion, doubts and questions can lead to a deeper faith. I’ve told you about my early born-again experience as a child and how it led to reading the Bible and being very involved in church even before I was a teenager. All through high school I was a very sincere believer, focusing most of my outside life on youth fellowship, both on a local and state level. I really can’t remember what happened (I wish I could) that made me start calling myself an agnostic, but I do remember when it happened—my sophomore year in college. Neither do I remember what made it end, probably the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. The agnostic period lasted for about a year, maybe a year and a half. This was a very intellectual time for me, and I really felt I needed proof of these incredible Christian dogmas. I never stopped being interested in religion or the more acceptable term for me then—spirituality. And I do believe that by the time I again considered myself a believer, my faith was stronger and deeper. So I guess I could say I am a recovered skeptic, very much interested in others who have their own doubts and problems with faith. For many of us, but not everyone, it is important to outgrow our Sunday school faith. This all depends on what kind of personality we have as well as what kind of lessons we were taught in Sunday School. I know that most seminarians in their first year feel that they are having their faith “deconstructed” a fancy word for being torn apart. Because I had gone through this experience at least a couple of times before seminary, it was not as brutal for me as it was for some of the young folks that had always been true believers.

Getting back to how these experiences can make us even stronger in our faith, let’s return to doubting Thomas, also a recovered skeptic. He fits in very well with the post-Enlightenment skepticism with its need to see empirical evidence for all the claims of truth. Thomas was not about to believe just to believe. He was not the kind of person who blindly accepted faith without question. He had a challenging and inquisitive mind. Earlier when Jesus had told his disciples that he was going to prepare a place for them, he was the only one who said, “Jesus, we don’t know where you are going and we don’t know the way.” When he didn’t get something, he wasn’t hesitant to ask questions. When Thomas finally did see Jesus and put his hands into the nail marks and the hole in Christ’s side, he fell on his knees and called out, “My Lord and my God!” He was acknowledging what Jesus had told them earlier that if they knew him they also would know God the Father. “Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.”

This story we have been focusing on in the Gospel of John is a story of hope, promise, and joy. Jesus gives Thomas what he needs to have faith. He doesn’t speak to him with words to shame; instead, I agree with other commentators that Jesus, out of his love for Thomas, gave him the opportunity to see and feel his wounds so that he would believe. Jesus love us like that, he will do whatever possible to help us believe. In Psalm 16 the psalmist says, “Therefore my heart is glad and my soul rejoices; my body also rests secure…You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” And in the reading from Peter, we are told that we are being protected by the power of God through faith, and I quote v. 6-8 “In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith…may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy.”

Yes, my sisters and brothers, we may have doubts, we may find it hard to believe many things we have read and been told; however, Jesus still loves us and will be for us indescribable joy. Joy is different than happiness; it is that deep feeling that comes when we know God loves us and is always with us. No matter how many doubts we have, the ever-abiding God will bring us joy as we open our hearts to receive it. I invite all of you, no matter where you are on the journey of faith, skepticism, or doubt to join with us here at Deering Community Church, United Church of Christ. It will be my privilege to be with you on this difficult but most rewarding journey. Amen and amen.